Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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