There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
