There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
