Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
