what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Terrible idea I love it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
