well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
