This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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