I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
