I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
