Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
