we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
