yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
