so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize