In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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