I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
