their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
