handjob tips. give me some.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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