What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
