Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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