I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I need a beard to bite.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
