We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
