So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
where are my eyebrows?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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