Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
