no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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