bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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