it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
