thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
