so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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