I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
