Your mouth is God's brothel.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
