Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
