So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
