If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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