Only a mothe r could love this liver
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
