I'd wear matching sweaters with you
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i now understand why vodka
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
