O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
