So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
