You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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