ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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