How's work?
Spinning.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize