Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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