I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
