We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
