just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
