How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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