After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
