I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
