I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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