Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
my liver is dry heaving
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
