Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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